Playing Cupid
by Tyki075
Summary: Lavi has noticed that Allen and Kanda obviously like each other, so he takes it upon himself to get them together. The only problem is that he has to go to HIM for help. Yullen!


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN D. GRAY-MAN**

 **Tyki075: Hello people! How's life? So, I thought of this one-shot randomly, I don't even remember what gave me the idea.**

 **Allen: That's no surprise, your memory is lacking just as much as your humanity.**

 **Tyki075: Ha. Ha. Ha. You're so fucking witty.**

 **Allen: I know I am.**

 **Tyki075: Sometimes I question why you're one of my favorite characters…**

 **Allen: Because who COULDN'T love my face?**

 **Tyki075: … Cross.**

 **Allen: O.O How dare you bring up that wretched man.**

 **Tyki075: *shrugs* You deserved it. Anywho, due to the fact that this is a one-shot, I don't have anything to say so… I hope you all like it! Let us set forth!**

 ** _'Moyashi' = Neah talking in Allen's head_**

 _'Moyashi' = Someone's thoughts (which basically just means Allen talking to Neah)_

Playing Cupid:

Lavi knew that something was going on between Allen and Kanda. He also knew that they were both too stubborn to realize it. So, being the Cupid he was, he decided to help them out a bit.

While usually he would go to Lenalee for help, he knew that she would do no good in this situation. They could do the whole 'Push Them and Make Them Kiss' thing, but the two 'enemies' would probably freeze, blush, then destroy whatever setting they were in, both blaming and yelling at each other for kissing them. Because of this, Lavi knew there was only one person he could go to and he was not very excited about it. But he knew that he had to do it. For his friends!

With a strong resolve, Lavi set off towards Allen's room.

XxXxXx Yullen XxXxXx

Lavi knocked quietly, "Allen?"

The redhead heard a grunt and a thud before the door was opened, revealing a disheveled Allen Walker. The teen was shirtless, sweat dripping down his chest.

"Lavi? What are you doing here?" Allen asked.

"Nothing really. I just needed to discuss some things. Alone!" Lavi explained.

"Oh, okay. Come on in!" Allen moved out of the doorway, letting Lavi inside.

When the Bookman Apprentice walked through the door, the first thing he noticed was the slightly creepy clown picture, then the over-turned chair, and last the shattered mirror.

"Um…" Lavi began uncertainly.

"Sorry about the mess, I was just doing my exercises when you knocked. You surprised me and I sort of fell over." Allen blushed, rubbing the back of his neck as he chuckled.

"You're so clumsy, Moyashi-chan!" Lavi laughed, slinging an arm around Allen's shoulders.

"My name is Allen, stupid rabbit!" Allen yelled, "Now, what do you need to talk about?"

"Well, you see, I sort of need to speak with Neah…" Lavi said, not looking Allen in the eye.

"Um… Why?" Allen asked, obviously confused as to why someone would voluntarily speak to Neah.

"Well… Bookman reasons!" Lavi announced, quickly coming up with an excuse.

"Yeah… Okay." Allen agreed, eyeing Lavi weirdly.

"And make sure not to listen in!" Lavi added.

Allen raised a single eyebrow, before sighing and closing his eyes.

After a few minutes a tic mark appeared at Allen's temple.

Lavi watched closely, waiting for the change.

After five minutes though, he was quickly getting bored. He looked around the rather bland room, not really finding anything of interest. He sighed and flopped onto the bed, his eyes once again shifting to the frozen teen in the middle of the room. Lavi sighed again, before his eyes fluttered closed and he began to snore.

TEN MINUTES LATER:

Lavi jerked awake to the feeling of being slapped.

"AH!" Lavi shot into a sitting position, holding his left cheek.

"Wow Bookman Junior, you are a difficult person to wake up." The Fourteenth Noah smirked, "I've been trying for the past… five or so seconds."

Lavi gaped, "Did you try shaking me?!"

"No."

"Calling my name?!"

"No."

"Anything OTHER than slapping me?!"

"… No."

Lavi face-palmed, "Remind me again why I came to YOU."

Neah shrugged, plopping himself onto the once overturned chair, "How should I know? It was your decision."

"I'm going to regret this, I just know it." Lavi sighed, "What took you so long?"

"Allen insisted on 'laying down the law' first. Apparently I'm not allowed to kill, maim, or otherwise injure anyone in any way. I'm not allowed to be 'obnoxious' or a 'fucking idiot', as he so graciously put it." Neah explained.

"It took him fifteen minutes just to say that?" Lavi questioned.

"According to him, a lot goes into not being a dumbass." Neah leaned back casually, "I've already forgotten nearly half of it."

Lavi rolled his eyes, "You're sure the Moyashi can't hear us?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I've set up the Mind Wall. While the Wall and I have had many a falling out, what with me continuously running into it, I have faith in it." Neah said.

Lavi looked at the Noah incredulously, "Yes, right, of course. Um, question, what happened to the mirror?" He asked, referring to the shattered mirror in the corner of the room.

Neah glanced at said object, "Ah, that happened a while ago. Allen said he was 'sick of my smug face'."

"You and Allen don't get along very well, do you?" Lavi said.

"No, we get along just fine, all things considered. We're the only family the other has left. We just bicker… a lot. All the time." Neah explained.

Lavi stared at the man before him for a second, "Yeah, I don't understand you two, but whatever, that's not what I'm here to speak to you about."

"Oh?" Neah raised an eyebrow, "Then what is it you need?"

"What have you noticed of Kanda and Allen's relationship?" Lavi asked.

Neah barked out a laugh, "There is so much sexual tension between those two that you can almost _taste_ it, and it doesn't taste good. It tastes of sweat and horomones."

"Did you _really_ have to say that?" Lavi groaned.

"Yes, yes I did. At least you're not in Allen's head, I have to watch his dreams and let me tell you-" Neah began.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Lavi yelled, frantically covering his ears.

"Okay, okay, I won't give you the juicy details. But I promise you, they are juicy." Neah smirked.

"Neah! Stop saying things with underlying perverted connotations!" Lavi scolded.

Neah chuckled, "So, what does Kanda and Allen's relationship have to do with me?"

"It's pretty obvious that they want to get together, but they're both extremely dense and refuse to admit it." Lavi said.

Neah nodded.

"You're the only one who can help me get them together." Lavi declared.

"How so?" Neah asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, his chin in his palms.

"Well, the plan's simple…"

XxXxXx Yullen XxXxXx

Kanda was having a normal day, which usually meant that something was going to happen, whether it be good or bad. That something came in the form of a red rabbit bounding down the halls.

"Yu-chan!" The rabbit cried.

In less than a second, Mugen was drawn and pointed at the throat of the annoyance, "Call me that again, I dare you."

Lavi's eyes examined the rather sharp blade of the weapon that was currently endangering his life and gulped, "My apologies, K-Kanda, I just heard something strange coming from the Moyashi's room."

"Che." Kanda scoffed, sheathing Mugen, "Why the fuck should I care?"

"Please Yu-chan! What if it's the Fourteenth?!" Lavi pleaded.

Kanda held back a growl at the mention of the rebel Noah. Even though he had sworn allegiance to the Moyashi (not the Order), Kanda still didn't trust him, always worrying that the Fourteenth would break his vow and take the Moyashi away.

Of course, Kanda would never admit his worry, he didn't even know why it was there. He didn't know why his heart fluttered the way it did when the Moyashi was around or why he wanted to see the teen smile genuinely for once. He didn't know and he was determined to ignore it until it went away.

"Please? Just come check it out?" Lavi begged.

Kanda scowled, "Fine, if it gets you to go away."

"Thank you!" Lavi cried, dragging the samurai down the hall towards Allen's room.

Once they arrived Lavi shoved the grumpy Exorcist into the room, slamming the door closed, locking it (magically!)

"USAGI!" Kanda screamed, pounding at the door.

"Kanda?" Came a confused voice.

Kanda slowly turned around, only to be met with the sight of a Moyashi sitting on his bed, a book in his hand.

"What are you looking at Moyashi?" Kanda growled.

Allen blinked, "Um… The man who just barged into my room?"

"I didn't barge in anywhere! Baka Moyashi!" Kanda denied.

"Yes, you did!" Allen huffed, "And my name is-"

Suddenly Allen went silent as he looked down, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Moyashi?" Kanda questioned, taking a step closer to the motionless boy.

"My name is not Moyashi." A dark smile spread across Allen's face. He looked up, his golden eyes shining sadistically, "Then again, my name's not Allen either."

"Fourteenth." Kanda snarled.

Neah got to his feet and all but sauntered over to Kanda, "Hello Pretty Boy. Long time, not see, eh?"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Kanda hissed, glaring dangerously at the Noah in front of him.

"I've decided to come out and _play_." Neah smirked, his pianist fingers dancing across Kanda's chest. "Don't worry, Allen's only sleeping. For now."

Kanda slapped the gray hand away from his chest, "Let him go."

Neah took a step back, a look of contemplation on his face. "No, I don't think I will."

"You said you were loyal! You promised you would never erase him!" Kanda spat.

"Yes, well, it seems his priorities have changed. His focus no longer lies with the Akuma, not the humans, not even the Earl." Neah said, running a hand through white hair, "No, a new face haunts his thoughts."

"What do you mean?" Kanda asked, his eyes narrow.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Neah said, smirking smugly, "But I can't help but wonder why you care. In your own words, he is only a 'host for a traitorous Noah,' right?"

Kanda tensed, "We can't afford to lose an Exorcist, not to the likes of you."

Neah smiled as he walked up to Kanda again, "Isn't that what you always say whenever Allen is hurt or in danger? Isn't that always your excuse when you worry?"

Kanda growled, but didn't say anything as Neah began walking around him.

"Do you actually believe that? Do you think that's the true reason?" Neah leaned in and whispered in Kanda's ear, "Or are you just too afraid to admit that you care? Probably more than you should."

"You know _nothing_ , Noah." Kanda hissed.

"Oh contraire, samurai. I believe I know more than you think." Neah said.

Kanda glared venomously at the Fourteenth, "I'm sick of your games."

"But I'm not playing." The smirk never left the Noah's face.

Kanda was beyond pissed. With a snarl, he drew Mugen and shoved Neah onto the bed, straddling him as he pointed the sword at this throat.

"Why hello darling." Neah taunted.

"You have one last chance to give me back the Moyashi." Kanda warned.

"And if I don't?" Neah provoked.

"I don't think you want to find out." Kanda put more pressure on the Noah's neck, drawing a bit of blood.

"Sorry samurai, but I am having way too much fun to stop now." Neah grinned tauntingly.

"I promised the Moyashi that I wouldn't let you harm anyone." Kanda said.

Neah froze and his eyes widened imperceptibly, "What do you mean?"

"I don't go back on my promises." Kanda raised Mugen, preparing to strike the Noah down.

Neah didn't have time to say anything before Mugen was plunged into his abdomen. He let out a strangled scream, feeling the Innocence burning him.

Gold slowly faded to shocked silver. "K-Kanda?"

"Moyashi…" Kanda had no idea what to do, the Noah had left, leaving him with a bleeding Allen.

Allen choked slightly, his eyes falling out of focus.

Kanda wasted no more time gathering Allen into his arms, roughly kicking down the door, and running to the infirmary, ignoring the confused Lavi, who had been waiting outside Allen's door.

"Oh my god! You stabbed him! With your sword! And not in the innuendo way!" Lavi shrieked, running after the stoic Exorcist.

They burst into the infirmary, startling the nurses. It didn't take long though, for them to burst into action, ordering Kanda to lay Allen down on a bed, before shoving the two Exorcists out of the room.

"What happened Yu?" Lavi asked, serious for once.

"The Fourteenth took over." Kanda said simply, his eyes not leaving the door blocking his vision of the Moyashi.

Lavi froze before mumbling under his breath, "Dammit, we never took _that_ into account. Stupid fucking Neah and his stupid fucking acting skills."

"What was that?" Kanda asked.

"Nothing!" Lavi yelped, "It's not important!"

Kanda frowned, but said nothing.

"Yu, are you worried?" Lavi questioned.

"Of course not!" Kanda denied futilely.

"Right, right, not worried at _all_." Lavi agreed sarcastically.

Kanda was about to respond (Read: Cut Lavi's head off) when the door opened and the Head Nurse came up to him.

"Allen Walker is stable. No serious damage was done, the biggest worry was blood loss." She explained.

"That's good." Lavi sighed in relief, while Kanda grunted.

"He'll wake up in a couple of hours at the most. You can see him if you want to." The Head Nurse said, walking away to tend to other patients.

"Well, Bookman probably has some work for me to do, so I gotta go! Bye!" With that, Lavi took his leave, grinning to himself.

Kanda looked uncertainly at the door to Allen's room, not sure if he should enter or not. After a couple of minutes of indecision Kanda slowly entered the room, freezing at the sight of the Moyashi's motionless form. He frowned in worry as he slowly made his way over to Allen's bedside.

"I'm sorry Moyashi, I should've known the Noah was just a coward. I should've tried harder to fet you back before resorting to violence." Kanda sighed as he sat down in a chair beside Allen's bed.

"I'm truly am sorry, Moyashi." Kanda said, "Maybe the Noah was right. Maybe I care about you a lot more than I should."

XxXxXx Yullen XxXxXx

Allen groggily blinked open his eyes, wincing at the bright lights. He felt a weight on his left side and when he turned; he was astonished to find a sleeping Kanda with his arms on the bed, his head on his arms.

Allen blushed, not really knowing what to do. After a couple of moments, he gently shook him awake.

Kanda groaned slightly, before his eyes slowly opened and he sat up.

The two stared at each other for a couple of minutes, neither moving or saying anything.

"Um, Bakanda, why am I in the infirmary?" Allen asked, breaking the silence.

"That fucking Noah in your head." Kanda answered.

 _'Neah, what is he talking about?' Allen growled in his head._

 ** _'Nothing!' Neah squeaked, 'He's just kidding, you know how Kanda likes to joke around!'_**

 _'Oh yes, Kanda is quite the jester.' Allen deadpanned, 'I will deal with your dumb ass later. I'm currently busy.'_

 ** _'Yes, you best get back to your dear Kanda.' Neah smirked._**

 _'Shut your stupid face!' Allen muttered before turning his attention back to Kanda._

"Moyashi!" Kanda yelled, "Stop spacing out!"

"Sorry!" Allen huffed, "So, Neah was, naturally, being an idiot. That doesn't explain why I'm in the infirmary."

At this Kanda tensed, but he scoffed, "I keep my promises."

"Wha- Promise?" Allen frowned. Then it hit him.

 _'If the Noah takes over, I want you to kill me. Promise me, please.'_

 _'I promise.'_

Allen's eyes widened in realization. He frantically pulled up his shirt, prodding the bandages around his waist, wincing at the pang of pain it caused.

"You STABBED me?!" Allen shrieked, staring at Kanda with shocked eyes, "I know that Neah is annoying- ridiculously so- but is that any reason to STAB me?!"

"He wouldn't give you back." Kanda muttered quietly.

"What?" Allen asked, not having heard what he said.

"He wouldn't give you back! He took you and he wouldn't give you back!" Kanda yelled, standing abruptly, knocking the chair over, his fist clenched so tight they were white, his eyes blazing.

"He took you from me…" He whispered.

Allen smiled softly, "Kanda, it's okay."

"No, it's not!" Kanda denied, "I hurt you! I didn't think! All I saw was the Noah who took you away, I didn't consider that I would hurt you too!"

Allen didn't really know what to say, so he pulled Kanda into an embrace.

"Ssssshhh, it's okay. I'm here, I'm fine. Neah may be a complete and utter idiot, but he would never hurt me." Allen reassured.

Kanda slowly relaxed into the Moyashi's arms, for once letting himself be comforted.

"Hey Kanda," Allen said after a while, "Why were you so worried? Why did you fight so hard? Why did you _care_?"

Kanda pulled back from the embrace and looked at Allen with a completely dumbfounded expression on his face, then he chuckled.

"You're such a baka, Moyashi." He grinned.

Allen pouted, "Way to ruin the moment, Bakanda! And that doesn't ans-"

Allen was suddenly cut off by the feeling of a pair of warm lips on his own. The teen completely froze for a second, before responding passionately, wrapping his arms around the samurai's neck, feeling said Exorcist smirk into the kiss.

After a bit, the need for air became apparent and the two split apart, both breathing heavily. Allen rest his head on Kanda's shoulder.

"I care because of love you, Allen." Kanda whispered in the blushing boy's ear.

Allen pulled away and smiled brightly.

"I love you too, Yu!" He practically sang.

Kanda smirked, before pulling the adorable Noah/Exorcist into another kiss.

XxXxXx Yullen XxXxXx

Outside the room, a certain red rabbit smiled proudly as he walked away.

"All in a day's work." He said, putting his hands behind his head.

 **End.**

 **Extra Chapter: What Happens When Kanda Finds Out**

Lavi's eyes blinked open slowly as he looked around the dark room he was currently in. It didn't take long for him to discover he was tied to a chair.

"Ah, look who's finally awake." A voice came from behind him.

"Allen?" Lavi asked, recognizing the voice.

"Guess again." The voice said.

Lavi slumped in his bonds, "Great, I'm stuck with YOU."

"I don't understand why everyone hates me." The voice whined.

"It's because you're insane, Neah." Lavi sighed.

"Come on, like Allen's _not_ insane." Neah mumbled.

"Yeah, but at least Allen's not an asshole, unlike you." Lavi pointed out.

"Really? 'Cause I beg to differ." Neah huffed, wanting to cross his arms, but was unable to due to the fact that he was also tied to a chair, his back to Lavi.

"Eh, maybe a little, but he's nowhere near your level of assholeness." Lavi shrugged as best he could.

"So, any idea what we're doing here?" Lavi asked after a while.

"Um… Nope. No clue." Neah said quickly.

"You're lying." Lavi said bluntly.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaat? No, I am not." Neah laughed nerviously.

Lavi was about to retort when a door opened and light flooded the room for a brief second before the door closed again.

"Good, you're both awake.' A cold voice came from the darkness.

Lavi suddenly began thrashing, "NEAH! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!"

"I'M SORRY! I TOLD HIM! I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO FIND OUT _SOMETIME_! I THOUGHT THAT IF I TOLD HIM, THE PUNISHMENT WOULDN'T BE SO SEVERE FOR ME!" Neah wailed.

"WHAT THE FUCK NEAH?!" Lavi screamed.

"Will you two shut up?!" The voice yelled.

The two captives fell silent.

"Now, you two have done something extremely idiotic. More so than usual." The voice growled.

"We're sorry!" Both prisoners shrieked, "KAAAANDAAAAA!"

Their screams rang throughout the halls of the Order for hours.

 **End.**

 **Tyki075: Wow. I have been working on that for FOREVER! I'm so glad I'm finally done.**

 **Allen: YOU STABBED ME!**

 **Tyki075: First, Kanda stabbed you. Second, I have no idea how that happened, it just sort of wrote itself.**

 **Allen: LIAR!**

 **Tyki075: Only a little. Anyways, I hope you all liked it. Favorite and review! Please? For me?**

 **Allen: Don't do it!**

 **Tyki075: Ignore him. Well, again, favorite and review! Squadala!**


End file.
